OMG, like, let's totally talk about your boyfriend!! You totally bring him to your shoots and he's totally like so hawt. He is totally rad and all your friends are like soooo jealous. He's like, so amazing, and he like totally goes to clubs with you and shows you off to his friends and like, maybe he's going to put you in his music video, and it's totally like LOVE for real this time!!
Well, that's just super. Yes, I'm being especially cunty, but my rant is going to get specific, so hear me out.
Getting naked in front of a camera can be really stressful. It's sometimes embarrassing. It's definitely a vulnerable moment. Even more so if you're doing a bondage shoot. And more still if you're working with and getting naked in front of a complete stranger. I can understand that you'd like a chaperon, someone who makes you feel safe, comfortable.
I know tons of photographers who completely ban models from bringing their boyfriends along to shoots and I understand why. Sometimes I don't mind it, but other times it can suck. A lot.
If, dear model, you plan to have your boyfriend (husband, s.o.) along, here are some guidelines.
1) Ask the photographer's permission first.
2) Your chaperon MUST stay out of the way and out from under everyone's feet.
3) He must not be within your field of vision while you're shooting.
4) He is not to interfere unless your health/safety/welfare are at stake.
5) Ask the photographer if your boyfriend can be of service. Maybe if he's helping out, it won't be so awkward to have him there. Good jobs for boyfriends include heavy lifting, cleaning up, running for snacks/lunch/coffee, etc.
Let me share with you two different boyfriend scenarios I experienced in 2008.
A) Positive - Model asked if it was ok, I said, "yes". Boyfriend was interested in photography, I let him assist me. He asked well-thought-out questions, I was happy to answer them. During breaks, we talked about cameras and lighting and I helped him with some problems he was having. I let him shoot behind the scenes video for me. We all had fun and it was a very good experience.
B) Negative - Model said her boyfriend was coming. He usually shoots most of her content. Every single step of the way, she looked to him for approval. Sometimes she'd say, "that's not the way we shoot it at home..." Worst of all... We shot six or seven sets that day and here's how they went...
Model to bf: "should I wear this or this?"
Decision finally reached after much debate...
I go set up lighting for the scene.
Model gets in place, she poses, she looks past me to her bf who is hovering behind me, cranes her neck to look at him and asks, "Does this pose look good?"
I stifle a grumble but start the shoot.
Every few frames, the scenario repeats.
Over my shoulder, "Is this good? Do I look good?"
Finally, I lost it and told her, "You know, I've done this before. I will tell you if something's wrong."
I had to banish the boyfriend for the rest of the day.
Here's the generally agreed-upon thinking behind the "no boyfriend" rule.
1) If you're looking at your boyfriend, you're not looking at the camera.
2) If you're worried about what he's thinking, you're not paying attention to the moment.
3) If it's "not how you take photos with your boyfriend" that's because you're not. You're in the middle of a shoot with a professional photographer. Someone, I'd hope, who you've chosen to work with because you like their style/talent/vision. If you want all the photos to look like stuff you shot at home with your boyfriend, then, please, don't waste my time. Stay at home and shoot with your boyfriend!
There were a couple things that really troubled me about scenario B. !) It was uncomfortable to watch the model's interaction with her boyfriend. She was very dominant and her tone with him was belittling. (I'm going to refrain from going into detail about that, but you should have heard the way she talked to him...) 2) I felt like my part in the process was not taken seriously. Like me being there barely had anything to do with the photo shoot. 3) I REALLY do not enjoy confrontation. As I've said time and time again, I'm not in this for the money. This is my dream job because I love to do it. If I wanted to to be miserable, I'd go back to my old job where I was paid a high salary and had benefits.
In an ideal world, models would leave their boyfriends at home. They don't tag along to their bf's job at Starbucks and micromanage every latte he makes, right?
If you're worried about working with a new photographer (and I don't blame you if you are), ask around, get references. A good, well-known, professional photographer is not about getting in your pants. He or she is there to work. If not, then maybe you shouldn't be shooting with them.
K, thanks.
lol - shouldn't laugh, but it is comforting to know that well known pro's cop this kind of stuff and not just us amateur/hoobyist 'togs shooting lots of TFP gigs.
I've been lucky in that the good experiences with the bf tagging along far outnumber the bad ones, but the bad ones have seen a few doozies in there!!
That scenario B must've been a nightmare. I wouldn't have stood for that for very long (I say that but I could tell you stories about shoots I've been on for bands of things I just took in the interest of getting the damned shoot wrapped and getting out of there... so maybe I would not have held the confrontation earlier).
WOW.
You tell em.
Can I be your BF beater ? lol
Im sorry you have to deal with that crap! I understand someone bringing there boyfriend but they need to be smart enough and realize they arnt shooting with there boyfriend!!! WTF!
amen, sister!
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